Tag Archives: parenting tips

Let us murder your kids.

Do you hate your children?  Do you ever wish a strange man would pick them up in his van on their way home from school?  Do you feel like giving them a “permanent timeout?”  If you answered yes, we have the solution!  Here at the Official Tubbo Website, we’ll kill your kids for you at a reasonable price!  Contact us now at 177 – we – eat – kids and your kids will be gone before you know it!  We’re so sure our customers will be satisfied with our ninja-assassin skills, sometimes we don’t even tell the parent we’re about to kill their child!  Check out this happy costumer;

A happy costumer.  Prices start at $50 per killing.  At this price, you can’t afford not to have your children killed!

Did your baby just crap the floor?  That isn’t normal.  Call us.  Did your 10-year-old spill some milk?  The saying is wrong.  Call us.  Did your punk-ass teen just mouth off?  Call us, unless you want to finish him off yourself.  If your kid is the best thing in the world and you love him, call us anyway.  Or else we’ll kill your kids.

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