About The Babysitter

You may have noticed how we reference a certain “Babysitter” more than a few times on this site and may be asking yourself why.  Well, if that’s the case, than you’ve come to the right place!  First thing you need to know about her (and basically the only thing you need to know to get a good idea about her personality):  she is the Devil disguised as a human.

About a year ago, a fairly insane-looking lady showed up at our house claiming that she was the woman Bill, our dad, hired to look after us for the the night.  For then on, over the course of two months, she babysat us about once a week, all the while threatening to beat, maim, and kill us until she was arrested (on the charges of child abuse; surprise, surprise) and sent to prison.  Two minutes after being convicted, she escaped and was on the run.

The details on her sentence are pretty “hush hush” (although we’d be surprised if it was anything less than life), but we think her little trip to solitary confinement was due to the fact that she met two kids walking down the street and didn’t like their attitude.  Well, lets just say those kids won’t be getting out of the hospital anytime soon.  We think that qualifies for child abuse, but we could be wrong.  How she got out of prison so soon is beyond us.  Probably a combination of illegal drugs, military weapons, and deathly underarm stench.

Unfortunately, the Babysitter made some crazy connection between us and being sent to prison, and ever since, she has been tracking us down.  Stalking us for evermore.  Evermore, evermore…  Actually, she found us a few times, but we managed to throw her off our trail by pretending like we were different hippos, which she believed.  How dense can you get?  Unfortunately, Bill doesn’t believe that she is crazed and trusted the lie she fed him about being “on holiday” all the months she was absent (and in prison).

We’ll finish this horrible article off with a warning.  If you ever have to get her as a babysitter, run for your life.  Once she sets her sights on you for her “Staked Head Collection”, you’re doomed.  We are the sole survivors of her hellish wake.  But we are far from safe.  Never, never let her even catch a glimpse of you.  Don’t become another lost soul in the dark tale of The Babysitter.

We haven’t been able to get any worthwhile pictures of her (they all come out looking oddly distorted), so we drew up a sketch.  Not very good, but then, her face isn’t very good.