Our names are Tubbo & Dubba Tubba Grey. We’re four years old and stand at about 11 feet. We’re both left handed. Our blood type is AB. That’s more than you need to know unless you’re an obsessed stalker, in which case keep reading for even more info (our address is at the bottom).
We’re hippos (see picture to the left), but not hippies. We’re also twins who enjoy the same things to an extent; we enjoy nerd-bashing, Super Mario, and general laziness. We also hate the same things to an extent; we hate nerds, Sonic the Hedgehog, and over-achievers. If you’re a nerd, Sonic the Hedgehog, or an over-achiever, screw off, we don’t want you on our site. Through genetic and hormonal altercations (or something like that), we’ve learned to do things most humans do despite the obvious handicap of being freakin’ hippos; the most important thing we could think of doing now that we can do things humans can do was make a blog, so there you are. We post about random topics that turn into rants more often than not. We may come off as a bit cynical or mean-hearted on this site (very intentional), so don’t read this if you have a weak heart or a weak pussy.
We Tubbos live the simple life in a multi-acreage mansion with Bill (our dad). Bill adopted us from Africa at “Adopt A Hippo Corp,” and we now live in northern Australia. Unfortunately, Bill’s job (he’s a lameass lawyer) forces him to be away for long stretches of time, which means we have to spend a lot of time with The Babysitter. Crap.
This site was made towards the end of 2007, although we didn’t make the first post until two or three months into ’08, for various reasons all involving laziness. Since then, it’s gotten fairly popular, averaging around 60 hits a day. Although it’s not quite as big as those snot-nosed fancy sites that have ads everywhere you look and professional coding that they paid $10,000 for, it’s doing pretty well for an independent site. Our best day got 294 viewers. Our worst day got 0. We’re pretty proud of both.
We’ll try to blog once every week or so, but we could always have a random spasm of laziness, so don’t whine about it if we go two weeks without a post.
In posts, we write in a way that suggests there are more than one person writing it (e.g., where most would say “I went to the park,” we say “we went to the park.”). This is because both of us (Tubbo & Dubba Tubba) usually write the posts together. Even if both of us aren’t present while writing, we usually thought of the idea together, or it relates to both of us. It may be a bit confusing for some newcomers, but after reading a few posts, it should feel completely normal. If you can’t adjust, you probably don’t have the brain capacity to handle small changes. We’d normally say “don’t email us complaining,” but we doubt you know how to email people in the first place. So don’t worry about it.
Our writing has been compared to Maddox’s The Best Site In The Universe, Bill Watson (of Calvin & Hobbes), Matt Groening (creator of the Simpsons), and Shakespeare. We agree.
We hate it when About pages are a bunch of disjointed and unfinished thoughts without any logical order.
Visit our site every day, because it’s just that awesome. You’ve got a new best friend and it’s this site. Tell your all your friends and enemies about it, and tell them if they don’t visit it often, we’ll kill them. ‘Cause we will. Now that we’ve threatened everyone you know, read our FAQ for even more information about people you’ll never meet!
You didn’t really think we’d give you our address on our About page, did you? That would be stupid! Our address is on our FAQ!