You may not know it (say, those of you who live under rocks), but we Tubbos are quite succesful business men. At the tender age of four, we already own multiple companies, most of them designed to help us take over the world. We also have a a software company (which takes control of smaller countries in it’s spare time… No, this isn’t Apple.) called Future Youth Organization Unicorns (known as F – Y.O.U. for short), doubling as a little-known game development corporation. Recently, we’ve been working on a video game through the studio which we are quite proud of, and would like to share with you.
Code-named “The Best Video Game Ever Created” (actually, that name is pretty catchy. We may keep it.) and concept cover pictured to the left, the game has been under constant development since some time last year. We’ve personally supervised the designing, and have written the story-line without anyone’s help. As a special treat, we’ve decided to shed a bit more light on this sure-to-go-platinum title. Of course, the Media has been curious about this title for some time; we’ve had workers from popular gaming magazines such as Nintendo Power and the Official X-Box Magazine (basically everyone except for Sony… Figures.) come to F – Y.O.U. studios, asking questions about the game. We’ve denied all of them any information on the Best Video Game Ever Created because we wanted you guys, the fans, to be the first to know about this wonderful game. Firstly, we’ll answer some questions we know you guys have. Then, we’ll share a few screenshots of the game.
Q. What the heck IS this game?
A. The game, The Best Video Game Ever Created (title pending…maybe), is part “party game” and part “side-scroller”. It’s a bit of a parody game, where anti-heros Tubbo & Dubba Tubba (us! We’re starring in our own game!) go through popular video game worlds, destroying everything in their path. They’ll pay Mario (of Super Mario World) a visit, they’ll enter the World of Halo, they’ll go through dungeons in Legend of Zelda, and even screw up a game of Guitar Hero where people almost (and almost certainly would have) beat Dragonforce on expert. And that’s just for starters!
They’ll bash both the good guys and the bad guys of these levels. We suppose you could call it a non-lame version of Super Smash Bros. Brawl with more violence and blood, except you only use characters Tubbo and/or Dubba Tubba. Of course, when you’ve got us, who needs other characters?
Q. What system(s) will this game be for?
A. We were initially going to have it made for all three major systems (Nintendo Wii, X-Box 360, and Playstation 3), but then remembered how much we hate Sony because of it’s tendencies to fail at everything (and to, pardon our honesty, suck monkey balls). So, it will be released on Wii and 360.
Q. Do you guys already have a story worked out? If so, what is it?
A. Actually, yes we do (although keep in mind that this is merely a concept, and we’re still tweaking it). We were at an arcade, right? We were playing some crappy video game… Let’s say Pac Man. We were playing Pac Man, and owning it as usual. The only problem, was we were playing too well. The game couldn’t handle the awesomness, glitched out, and sucked both of us into the world of the video games.
The first level is, obviously, the world of the Pac Man. After beating Pac Man and all the ghosts to death (thus beating the first level), we, Tubbo & Dubba Tubba, learn from the ultimate gamer, Chuck Norris, that to escape the world of the video games, we must beat ten more levels. Each level will be a different popular game world where we can wreck havoc. The quest to escape the world of the video games is on!
Q. What will this game be rated?
A. The game will be rated “M” (Mature – 17 year olds and up) by ESRB, no question about it. The sales will just be better that way; it’ll be sold to ten year olds, thinking they’re grown ups because they bought a game that will warp their outlook on life… We’ve said it before, but taking advantage of impressionable kids has GOT to be the reason we’re on this Earth.
As for the rating, yes, it’s defitintly a rated “M” game. Rated “M” for intense violence (if you consider beheadings and mass slaughters “violent”), blood and gore (at one point in the game, you drown a certain hated Sega character, COUGH-Sonic the Hedgehog-COUGH, in his own blood), strong language (in this game, Link from Legend of Zelda goes to his grave cussing words most adults have never heard), crude humor (a guy gets his heart knifed out, at which point a laughing track plays), and graphic sexual content (ever seen hippos mate? It ain’t pretty).
If, by some horrible stroke of misunderstanding, an ESRB reviewer loses his mind and decides that our game is tame enough to receive a “T” rating, we’ll just add more violence and language until it receives an “M” rating. We suppose an “AO” (adults only) rating would be alright too.
A. Awesome! When will this game be released.
Q. That we aren’t sure off. Not even approximate realease dates have been set yet. We’re thinking sometime mid-2010, but nothing is near certain.
Well, we think that covers all the obvious questions. We told you earlier that we’d share a few screenshots of the game in progress, and although we’ve been known to (constantly) lie just to piss people off, we’ll hold to our agreements. These screenshots were taken from the 2nd level, the Super Mario World.Tubbo, going from normal hippo form into “pixel” form. Tubbo will stay like that for the remainder of the Mario level. Note that the following screenshots will showcase “pixelated” Tubbo, meaning that if Tubbo looks blocky or blurred, it’s supposed to be that way.
Tubbo jumping, going after that weird football dude and after Mario. This is how Mario meets his bloody end. Next on the cutting board: Luigi. Man, we’ve always hate Luigi. Seriously, did anyone actually like him? He’s just a lamer version of Mario with an even worse mustache (if that’s even possible).
Anyway, this screenshot was taken after Tubbo ate one a mushroom (in this game, mushrooms not only supersize characters, but they make them dazed and tired, just like in real life. We have other power-ups too- besides mushrooms, we have pills, beer, and patches). We don’t know why Nintendo won’t go out and tell the world the truth; Mario is a druggy.
Tubbo riding on top of a Bullet-Bill in order to incenerate Mario. This isn’t going to end well.
This is the last part of the 2nd level. In this part, Tubbo teams up with Bowser to take down Mario. After killing Mario (obviously Mario has no chance of beating two of the worlds best villians), Tubbo betrays Bowser, sending both Mario and Bowser to their graves. Having completely ruined the world of Mario, Tubbo moves on to the next world to wreck his horror.
Well, that’s all the details we’re willing to divulge about this game. Now that we have you all drooling for this amazing game (see why we named it the Best Game Ever Created?), you’ll have to wait at least a year before it comes out! Be ready to have your face rocked off sometime next year for the low, low price of $100.00 (because, we figure it’s twice as good as other games currently on the market, so why not charge that much?).