10,000 Hits!

10,000 Hits, Losers!

Welcome to the 10,000 hits post here at the Tubbo Site!  That’s right, after almost (or maybe more than) one year, we finally hit 10,000 views.  Why, we remember when we first got 1,000 hits.  Actually, you can read the 1,000 Hits post here.  If we could cry normally rather than crying demonic blood, that would bring tears to our eyes.  We never knew we suffered from nostalgia.  Anyway, here are a few insider details on the Tubbo Site that we wouldn’t normally share with the general public, but are anyway because of all the “festivities” (in other words, us getting drunk).  Gee, we could mistake this for governmental meeting if we didn’t know better!  You know, every one getting drunk and sharing things they shouldn’t…

First off, we thought we’d show you some of our favorite terms people typed into search engines (like Google, Yahoo, etc.) to reach our site.  Some of these may seem idiotic, which is probably the reason we included them in our list.  Brace yourselves…

Note:  All these are in unedited form- untouched, unscrewed, un-idiot-a-fied.

  • “bail out a mexican jail”

We like this one because it really makes you think.  Was this guy reading our site from a Mexican jailhouse?  Or did he send one of his friends up the river and is now trying to bail him out?  Or maybe he just wants to figure out how to break out as a “precaution”?  This (probably) brought him to the Tubbo Site because of our article “Our Stay In a Mexican Jail“.

  • “hippie names”

Obviously the hippie who typed this one just gave birth to a young hippie and rather than thinking of a name that actually means something to her, she decided to consult the all knowing magic known as “Google” (everything is magic for hippies- especially this “new-fangled-hoodat” humans know as the Internet) which brought her here.  Of course, she loved all the Indian/hippie names we offered and chose one for her newborn baby who grew up and killed her for picking out such a horrible name.  True story.  These search terms probably brought her to the Tubbo Site because of our article “Indian/Hippie Names“.

  • “twins own everyone”

True that.

  • “indian names”
  • “good hippy names”
  • “indian names for dogs”
  • “hippie mother earth”

Gosh, if we knew how many hippies we’d get visiting our site because of that one article (Indian/Hippie Names, link above), we wouldn’t have even posted it.  Everyday we get about 10 visitors because of terms like this and we just want it to stop!  We have other and better articles here, people.  Get a life and get over hippies- the 70’s are over.  These search terms probably brought her to the Tubbo Site because of our article “Indian/Hippie Names“.

  • “retorts + stupid question”

Because writing “and” is too much work.

  • “wehn do we next vote”

Just a heads up people:  We’ve never used the word (and we use the term “word” loosely) “wehn” on this site.  This was obviously written by a Preschooler who heard his parents talking about some sort of election and wanted to find out more about it, but lacked the comprehension of the English to correctly use a search engine.  Because of that, rather than being sent to an electoral site that would teach him about elections and how they work, he got sent here where his perception on Presidents and the government was skewed.  He’ll probably become a terrorist because of this.  We should probably email him explaining things, but we’re lazy, so oh well.  These search engine terms probably brought him to the Tubbo Site because of either our article “We’re Not Going Political” or our article that contradicts us less than a month later titled “Next Election, We’re Voting Green Party“.

  • “wittyness”

Although spelled wrong here, we appreciate how people think we are witty none the less. 

  • “hack into billybob in clubpenguin”

For those of you who aren’t 40-year old nerds who live in their mothers basement (or who aren’t 2-year-olds who play Club Penguin after school all day- one or the other), Billy Bob is a famous Moderator who walks around Club Penguin, an online RPG, and bans everyone who looks at him wrong.  We learned all this usless information because of idiots who emailed us a few months ago day about making a post about Club Penguin, which we did right hereWhat do you think of your Club Penguin now, tools?  

  • “mother nature sucks”

Whether you think Mother Nature is greatest thing in the world or can suck balls, we’ve gotcha covered.  Or, at least the latter.

  • “caillou officil site”

We assume this person was attempting to type “official”.  It warms our hearts and increases our list of IP Bans when we get visits from 2-year-olds.  These search engine terms probably brought this young-in to our site because of our article “Caillou” (where we ridicule the show rather than praise it).


But we’re gonna keep the party going all night long- this post isn’t anywhere near done yet.  This is probably gonna be one of the longest ever on the Tubbo Site.  Next up, here are some statistics for the Tubbo Site:


Total # of Posts (at the time of this writing): 95.

Total Comments: 64  (we’re a bit disappointed in this number, but we suppose that because we took commenting off until a while ago, we can’t ask for much).

Total Spam Comments Blocked: 51 (owned!).

Total Views on an Average Day:  50-60 views.

Busiest Day: Saturday, Nov. 8th, 08 at 297 (two-hundred and ninety-seven) views.

Worst Day:  Monday, December 31st, o7 at 0 (zero) views.

Total Views at the time of this writing:  10,008 (huge number).

Next up, the greatest Tubbo Articles of all time, and why they’re that amazing!  Most of these are older, but we wanted more people to read them, so there you are.


Tubbos First Post

This was our first-ever post.  Although the Tubbo Site was first opened at the end of 2007 (December 28th), our first post wasn’t made until a few months later.  Although “Tubbos First Post” is neither funny nor well put togther, we keep it because it reminds us that we’ve come.  If you look in the URL Bar area, you can see it still has the original hello-world tag (which WordPress automatically includes).  

True Bliss?  We Think Not

This is when our articles started changing from pointless and short babblings about nothing into something much more.  Looking back on this article, we still enjoy reading it.  We think it was pretty good made for one of our first posts.

How To Make a Near Tubbo-Quality Fart

When this site first started, we talked about farting all the time.  Although we don’t talk about it much nowadays, we wanted to draw attention some attention to this little-known gem.  Plus, farting is still awesome.

Joe Is Viewtiful

Our first and last video game review article.  Although we don’t review video games anymore, we thought the article turned out fairly well.  Of course, it helps that the video game itself was awesome.  

How Laziness Saved Our Life

Yes, it’s old and raw and not as polished as our newer articles, but it’s genius none the less, and remains one of our favorite Tubbo Articles.  We like it because Tubbo almost died.  Heh heh, bit of a funny story actually.  But we suppose you had to have been there.

Screw Treats, We’re Givin’ Tricks!

Our official Halloween post (from ’08).  We talk about how Satanic holidays rock, which is why this holiday caught on in the first place.

Who Are These People?

If this is the second longest post on the Tubbo Site, then “Who Are These People?” is the longest.  But being the longest only adds to it’s awesomeness- we love this post.


One of our favorite emails:

######@####.com (protected on owners request)

Subject line:  today i got arrested because of you two- you guys rock!

Sent:  July 14th, 2008

hi tubbos.  this is my first time emailing you so i hope it goes through.  i just red your article on how ignorance isn’t bliss and i wasnt ready to take your word for it cuz i spend most of my life in ignorance so i decided to do some fo my own tests.  

test 1:  drive your car into a mcdonald’s building (i remember you guys mentioning you dont like mcdonalds) and hope i dont die because im ignorant about safety (i replaced my airbags with actual air before this test- hows that for ignorant).

result:  ignorance is not bliss.

im writing this from a full body cast in a prison cell.

To which we replied:  “When you get the brain transplant (which obviously hasn’t occurred yet), please don’t sue us.”

Next up, check out these photosL

Check out these photo’s and try and tell us our site hasn’t come a long way.


Hover mouse over pictures to view details.

Sorry about the poor quality on the first picture- we had to do some digging to find a picture that old.


That just about wraps up this 10,000 hits post.  Oh man, we’re awesome, as is this site.  Which reminds us- keep telling your friends about the Tubbo Site.  Just kidding.  You don’t have any friends.  And yes, do your part in the Tubbo community.  Yes, that’s right.  It’s a community now.  An awesome community, with over 10,000 inhabitants, most of them nerds.  And on that note…


Click to enlarge.

“Dude, it’s better than New Years Eve!”

And yes, the amazing ‘staches from the 1,000 hits post are back by popular demand.  We figured:  where’s the fun if you don’t add something that’s “a bit much”?

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