This article is about the Babysitter. Wondering who the Babysitter is? You don’t have to stay an idiot forever! Catch up here.
You may have already seen it on the news in which case we apologize for the repetition, but we doubt that because of how this case was kept pretty quiet. To summarize the next few paragraphs, another child was lost to the ruthless Babysitter.
Now, we haven’t been babysat by the Babysitter herself for a couple of weeks due to our begging Bill (our dad) to get different one- our argument was that we should “try new things” once in a while, which he completely bought. Our new babysitter is no Super Nanny, of course. She makes us dance to Latin Salsa for three hours straight, and the only thing she knows how to prepare is cold cereal, which she somehow she manages to burn. We have no idea how she does it, but she somehow she manages. We think it may be punishment for our poor dancing skills. But even after all that, she is better than the Babysitter, and until she [our new babysitter] starts attempting to murder us in cold blood, she’ll still be better than the old Babysitter.
Although we haven’t been personally babysat by Babysitter doesn’t mean she hasn’t been babysitting other kids. For the past two weeks, she’s been babysitting a little toddler girl a few miles from our mansion to compensate for the loss of business our getting a new babysitter cost her. And when we say she’s been babysitting for two weeks, we mean she’s been babysitting in between the attempted killings she’s made on us.
Anyway, she has been babysitting this little girl. The little girl is no Tubbo, but she is pretty bratty and/or violent. You know. For a mere mortal. The Babysitter had her hands full with this girl. But last night, it seems like the girl pushed the Babysitter too far, and when you’re as pre-crazed as the Babysitter is, it doesn’t take too much to be pushed over the deep end. But once the Babysitter went into the deep end, she took the little girl with her. Literally. Catch our drift?
The Babysitter was quoted later asking her friend on the phone “yeah, the little girl I’m supposed to be watching has been out in the pool for about four hours. Actually, she’s under the water. Can she breath underwater? Maybe she’s a mermaid.”
Yeah, she’s a mermaid. Although the Babysitter is extremely stupid (probably even this stupid), we know the truth. The Babysitter drowned her. The authorites planned on charging her for manslaughter. They couldn’t pin her for direct murder (not enough evidence), but she was the babysitter and a child drowned under her watch. The Babysitter’s only argument: “Hey, we can’t all be perfect babysitters! There are too many kids nowadays anyway! I was doing the parents a favor! Now, I’m not saying we should all just kill the kids we’re watching, but if the phone rings while we’re giving some neighbor’s baby a bath… Well, no one should judge.”
Needless to say, that didn’t do well in court (although one of the jury members seemed interested in what she had to say. In fact, now that we think about it, he stood up as a sign of respect as she broke one of the court windows and dashed out. Hmm…), and the Babysitters on the run again. But she’ll be back. She always is. And it’s our duty as the only kids around to survive her wrath to tell the tales of her horrors. Maybe someday we’ll finally be free from her horrors. But until day comes… Say, this is pretty good stuff. Maybe we should write a book. We’ll call it “The Horrors of the Babysitter including murder, arson, and terrorism” and make a million bucks. Sweet.
Note: The word “Babysitter” (and it’s alterations e.g. babysat, babysitting, etc.) has been used 29 times in this article, not counting the times it’s been used in this sentence. Just wanted to add that.