The Greatest Tool Known to Man

The hand (and the index finger) truly is the best tool known to man.  It can do everything- it can pick noses and ears, it can clean a bellybutton, and, when necessary, clear out the butt-tube when that last bit of poop won’t come out.  You groan and groan (and it’s on the tip of your butthole), but it just won’t squeeze out!  Don’t you hate that?  But because of the hand, hours of straining over the toilet isn’t necessary!  Just stick it up “there” and clear away!  We’re telling you, this hand is genius! 

Yes, our hands hate us.

Oh, and we heard this thing called the “light-bulb” is a pretty good invention too, but we’re not so sure.

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