That picture right there should settle it for you- if a horribly aged hippie thinks that voting for the Green Party is the thing to do, it’s the thing to do. We can’t understand why anyone would vote for the half-assed “Republican” party (please note the sarcastic tone we’re implying by the parenthesis’s marks), or, even worse, the Deeeeeemocratic party. Ick.
As many of you loyal Tubbo fans already know, we live in Australia, so the political blogs that flooded WordPress a month ago had nothing to do with us (except maybe spawning our post “We’re NOT Going Politcal” – Opens new window). Of course, with so many blogs flying around such as those, we had little choice but to read up on them, which is the reason that we know a fair bit about politics in the U.S.A. Oh, but please note that we do not, in any way shape or form, encourage the learning of things that matter (unless your being forced to by some sort of school, in which case you should run away and never return). We actually feel a bit guilty about reading up on something that the school didn’t require. We’re sorr- Never mind.
Anyway, once we read up on a (small) amount of the issues the Democrats and Republicans stood for, we decided that they both sucked. Actually, we found slight similarities to the Star Wars battles- The Republicans versus Darth Vader, only instead of the Republicans being good and righteous (like they were in Star Wars), they were corrupt and evil. Sorta more like “Ooo, lets take over the world and stuff!” rather than “Let’s not be evil and stuff.” Of course, Darth Vader and the Democrats are already basically the same, so no adjustments need to be made. We can’t see why Republicans and Democrats don’t get along! They’re both evil! Of course, we suppose that they disagree on the smaller issues like abortion, so that probably puts a little tension on the relationship.
For the Motherland!
We think the Stormtrooper armor fits Bush just fine, don’t you? The reason we aren’t making an insulting parody of Obama as well is because we don’t want a thousand hatemail messages telling us we’re racists even though we just clearly insulted a white man as well. You know, nowadays it seems that the smallest of things brands you racist for life. If you punch both a white guy and a black guy in the face, you are (of course) racist for hitting the black guy, because that’s clearly a hate crime, right? And if you don’t vote for Obama, that marks you racist as well. It’s far to easy to become a racist these days. Let’s say you voted for McCain (bad choice): that obviously means you’re a racist, so why not go the full mile and join a hate-cult? You’re all idiots.
Anyway, we think it’s obvious that we don’t like either of these guys, so we started looking for something we could support. Scary, huh? The Tubbo’s being supportive of something other than themselves? What’s happening to the world?!
We found the Green Party!
In fact, the other day we had a mock-election in our Kindergarten class. Two of the students were nominated to become class president (nerds, no doubt), and we were told to vote for whoever we thought could run the job better. Since we had not been nominated, we couldn’t vote for ourselves, so you know what we did? We went Green Party!
We just put Candidate’s “A” and “B” because their names don’t matter next to the Green Party.
The votes were tallied, and after one long hour of extreme tension, the results were shown. They were: Candidate “A” – 47%. Candidate “B” – 49 %. Other – 2%. Yes, the two percent were us, and obviously the Other thing is the Green Party! Of course, the Green Party didn’t win, so, being the politically opposed citizens we are, we didn’t mind that the measures we took to get our nominee into office are what some (simple-minded) people would call… Err… Drastic.
Green Party wasn’t even an option and we still voted for it! That’s how devoted we are.
Next election we can vote in (which should take place in about 14 years), we’re voting Green Party. True, we don’t any of the things they support, nor the things they opposed, but how bad can they be? Goooo Green Party! Woot! Hippies unite!
The Green Party puts the “Party” in the word “Party”. We made a pun!