The other day we were flipping through the iTunes Store. We came to “Weird Al” Yankovic (apparently he’s “big” in America?) and listened to a few of his songs. They were pretty funny, so we “bought” a few (LimeWire rocks hard). Then, as we always do, we went to reviews and clicked on the “Worst Reviews” page. We love looking at what the dummies have to say about a good album. Speaking of which, have you noticed that they all use the same insults like “You Call This Music?” or “I’d Rather (Insert Something Like Eat Poop) Than Listen To This!”? We can just picture old Gramps typing a review like that…
Anyway, we came to a review written by “they made me type in a nickname”. How droll, right? Way to make a totally overused name. Is this really what the public views as witty? We’ve only seen about 100 reviewers with a name similar to that. Just by looking at the name we know this guy is gonna be totally revolutionary. We check out his reviews and find that he calls Yankovik’s album “Disturbing”. No reason, no review per se, just a one star rating and a title that says disturbing. We couldn’t help but ask ourselves “Why?”.
We decided we couldn’t let idiocy like this go unchecked. We look up the reviews he made for other things on iTunes and find that apparently every album/single/book he doesn’t like automatically sucks (he gives it a one star rating) and is undoubtably “disturbing”. We think it may be a hippie in disguise.
Anyway, for the good of the entire Tubbo community, we’ve taken screenshots of the albums he finds “disturbing”. We’ve circled the disturbing parts of his review in red.
Let Me Talk To You: Admittedly, this IS a disturbing video (of course, as it’s got Timerlake in it), and we’d approve of this review if it was the only one of it’s kind. Unfortunately, this is only the beginning of albums marked disturbing by this twisted, twisted youth.
Bat Out of Hell 3: Oh my gosh, it has a dragon on the cover! Scary! Seriously, “PRETTY DISTURBING”? Yeah, that about sums up a 12+ song album. Our confidence in this guys sanity slowly fading, we hop to the next review.
Chain Hang Low: So now non-explicit rap is disturbing? Someone needs to get this guy help (note how he spells a simple word like “disappointed” wrong). We go to the next review, although we already know what it’s gonna be like.
P!nk: This was a review for a P!nk music video, but we didn’t include the image because we didn’t wanna shock our viewers. Her videos are weird, yes, but disturbing? The only one we find disturbing is this reviewer. We decide to lock and bolt our doors and windows (just in case) before going to the next review…
MCR’s Helena: We watched this video, and it turns out that it IS an emo video, but disturbing? Well, maybe if you’re are four-year-old. Who went to a private school. And is in a mental ward. Oh, and do any of you guys know what “Bas” music is? Or what it means if you’re a little “sorcer”? Are these terms something we should know?
We bought this just to piss him off.
White & Nerdy: This one just made us furious. How in the world do you call “Weird Al” disturbing? It’s incredible! It blows our mind that people like this manage to breath, much less boot up a computer. This video is the last thing in the world we’d call disturbing.
There were probably more albums this guy called disturbing, but we stopped because we started feeling a bit sick.
This leaves us to conclude that we’ve been making fun of a ten year old who looked up “scary” in the thesaurus, found the word “disturbed”, and decided to put it into use in the most absurd way he could think of. Of course, he never really grasped the meaning of it, probably thinking it meant something like bad. Ahh, now we feel all bad for making fun of him. Just kidding. We hope we made him cry.