Dead and Unemployed? Why Not Haunt Kids?

So you’ve got this great job, right?  Cashier at McDonald’s?  Construction Worker?  Beggar?  All great jobs when you’re alive.  But we bet you haven’t thought about what your gonna do when you’re dead.  You keep putting it off and then, 50 years from now when you die of something stupid like an aneurysm or something, you’re left dead and unemployed.  What then?  What’ll happen to your already dead and rotting family?  They’ll starve!  Well, they probably have already died of starvation in the first place (purely your fault for dying at an inconvenient time), but they might die again.  …We wonder if that’s possible…

You’re probably thinking, “Well, what can I do when I’m dead?  How do I avert this horrible tragedy?  Is there any hope for me?”.  Well, we can’t honestly say that there is hope for your soul once you move on, but there is something to do when you’re waiting…  Why not haunt children?The Living Dead

Sure, the pay isn’t quite what some greedy people would like, but otherwise, it’s the perfect occupation for the dead!  It’s pretty easy, too.  How hard is it to scare some little kids?  And if you’re really good at it, you can scar them for life!  Why should parents have all the fun of tormenting kids into insanity?

Some wimps might opt to haunt something stupid like a house, but REAL men haunt little defenseless children.  

Too many people have died without planning for death.  They keep thinking “Oh, I’m not gonna die today.  Why worry about it?” and BANG!  A car crashed into them the instant they have the thought.  Don’t let it happen to you.


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