Actually, no- We’ll decide for you, and we decide upon the “Death Camp” option. Picture this: We are walking around a small Australian town at twilight, looking for a little something to do. The sun is just beginning to set. It really is the perfect time of day. The sky is blood red with pink streaks etching across the blue, and all the youngsters are starting to be called in my they’re mothers. The delightful smell of freshly popped popcorn fills our noses. We look around to see what wafted the buttery aroma, and what do our eyes land on? A carnival! Balloons are rising from the big tent, cotton candy is being sold, and just general merriment is taking place. “Why not spend our evening here?” we ask ourselves. It’ll be fun!
We stroll in and, to our horror, it’s not (technically) a carnival at all! It’s a Death Camp. Designed to lure in unsuspecting children, Death Camps are the number one leading cause of fatalities. Sort of. All the rides are rickety, the popcorn is years old, and the fun houses are all covered in shattered glass, rusty nails, and hypodermic needles.
We decided we’d risk a gander into the “amusement” park (we were very bored) just to see if maybe there was a semi-safe rise somewhere in there, but as it turns out, that was a very bad idea. We tried going on the roller coaster (we like to call it the Suicide Coaster, as there is a missing board right in front of the 50 foot lunge. How fun! It’s like getting a ride and a death for the price of one)… Well, we managed to get off just in time.
We tried our luck on the Rodeo of Horror (correctly named), which is a big wheel you get strapped into. Then the wheel turns on a 90 degree angle (sometimes it turns on a 180 angle for the unlucky ones) and spins faster and faster. What an amazing ride! The only problem with this one is the fact seat belts they give you are a little shady. When the ride stops, the seat belts are designed to stop you from falling out 20 feet off the ground onto hard cement. The thing is, sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t.
We ended up grabbing a cotton candy stick and leaving. We bought to pink ones, left the Death Camp (fair), and started to bite into them, when we found something in one of them. Oh, we know what you’re thinking! It’s gonna be a shard of glass or toxic pill or something sinister like that! No, don’t worry, all it was was a human finger.