A Question We’ll Ask God Someday…

How did the cavemen survive their entire lives without dentists when it seems like we have to see one every other day?

We think it’s a fair point.  If stupid cavemen can get by without ever going to the dentist (likely without brushing their teeth as well), we can to.  We’re superior Tubbo’s!  We don’t need some quacks help to improve our hygiene.  Our hygiene is just as good as a caveman’s!  Wait.  Never mind.  

They don’t even know how to use their computers!  Who has a computer they can’t even turn on?  This is what happened at our last visit…

Dr. D00m.

No exaggeration. 

We were in the waiting room awaiting absolute horror for about two hours before we finally were sent in.  Some fat old fart came in and ushered us to a room where they strapped us into a chair and lowered it so we were practically laying down.  That’s when the torturing started.  They got these sharp drill-like tools and start hacking away at our teeth!  We were numb with pain!  Well, that could have been the toxic chemicals they sprayed down our noses, but we think it was scraps of iron they shoved into our teeth.  The worst part was those polishing crap they gave us.  It makes this super high-pitched sound that gives us a headache…  Then the taste starts overwhelming us, and we start gagging.  We threw up about three times!  At least that got the intern dentist away from us.  Heh heh.

After an hour of coma-inducing evil, the “real” dentist (a professional at torment) came in and pulled out a computer.  He told us that once he got our info up, he would untie us from the chairs and let us go alive.  But he never got our info up (probably lucky, ’cause we might’ve been sent to jail if all the stuff we did popped up).

Try as this dentist man might, he couldn’t figure out how to start the computer!  He tried typing random buttons, he tried typing in a secret password, he even tried drop-kicking the computer, but nothing worked!  We were sitting there for an hour waiting for this psycho to boot up a computer!  He’s been working there for years, and he still can’t figure out how to start a Mac?  For shame!  If we weren’t gagged up (that’s what they do at these shifty organizations after they treat your teeth), we would have told the guy off!  Come to think of it, we could have also told him where the power button is located.

Finally, after all that, the guy gives up and lets us out.  He invites Bill into the room, which is always what they do when the dentists talk about us as if we weren’t there.  Actually, this time it turned out pretty well- Tubbo (me.)  got twelve cavities, and thirteen for me (Dubba Tubba!).  There was only one problem.  The doc. said we both have some cracked disease called “periodontal”.  Whatever that is.  Oh well.  Time to get some candy!


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