English Is The Only Language We Acknowledge

English is the only language that should be spoken.  We’re tired of going to thoroughly American places (when we visit) such as McDonald’s or something, and having the cashier speak some language no one in the restaurant understands.  Check out this conversation:

Us:  “Sup.  We’d like two cheeseburgers and a small fry.”

Weird Spanish Man:  “Sí sí!  Muchas bargar!  Querer pickles?”

Us:  “Umm…  Say wha-?

Weird Spanish Man:  “Pickles!  Pickles!  Querer pickles?!”

Us:  “Pickles?  No, we hate pickles.”

Weird Spanish Man:  “El pickles?”

Us:  “Let’s go slowly.  No – Pickles.  Get it?  No pickles.”

Weird Spanish Man:  “Querer pickles?”


Weird Spanish Man:  “Querer-  Oh, oˈkei!  Sí, pickles.”

Us:  “Good.  And fries.  Got that?”

Weird Spanish Man:  “Sí”

So then, about an hour later (the service sucked), we got our cheeseburgers and french fries.  We took a bite into the burger, and you know what we found?  Pickles!  We broke down and started crying.

We think they should stop teaching all languages except English in schools.  Why would we need more than one language?  And languages like “Spanish” and “French” are stupid anyway.  And Japanese?  Do we even have to say it?

English is the best language in the world.  Everyone needs to learn it.  We should wipe countries were they don’t learn English off the map.  Well no, that’s dumb.  We should just force them to learn it.

One might argue that we should learn Spanish/French/Chinese rather than them learning English.  You know what we’d say to that?  We have nuclear power.  (Some of) you don’t.  Guess who has to do the work?  Anyway, then everyone would argue over whose language is the one everyone should learn, and that would start WW3.  Actually, that would be kinda cool, us starting a war.  Imagine.  Little Tubbo’s like us bringing about the total destruction of our world.  Cool.  

This is a total communication gap.  We bet some Dutch folks wandered into our site, and were like “Ooh, this looks cool.  We should check it out!”  only in Dutch.  But then they found that this site was written in the best language and they couldn’t read it.  We missed out on paying costumers because of a lack of international communication!  How lame is that?  If you can’t read this, go out and learn English now.  Wait a minute…

Everyone should speak English or shut up. 

UPDATE 5th FEB. 09:  Our avatar has changed since we took that screenshot of us ignorantly reply “what?” to a weird-languaged post, but our views on otherlanguages hasn’t.  We just wanted to clear up the little avatar confusion.


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