Bosses Aren’t Your Friends…


"Just go to the red door to find the boss!" ~Toad, Mario World

Sacrilegious?  Ya.  Rude?  Ya.  Stupid?  Questionable.  But it’s the truth.  Bosses are not your friends.  They weren’t when you started your job, and they won’t be once you get to know them.  You should be glad that your boss doesn’t throw you into a pit of fire every time you’re late for work.

Seriously, we hate it when people complain about their “not being close” to their boss.  Are bosses supposed to be friends with there employees?  Of course not!  The only thing a boss should have to do is some name calling here and there, and the occasional whipping when needed.  Not play paddy-cakes with Jimmy at his lunch break or get together with Dolorus after work is done.  And speaking of fake names like Jimmy and Dolorus reminds us of a question.  How come when people are using examples of people that don’t exist, they use the most generic names possible?  How ’bout spicing it up a little?  Be a little creative!  How about Natorblus or Franklin or Jesus?  C’mon people!  Nothings less creative than using names like Jack or Sara.

If we were bosses (which we will someday), we’ll make those mean mean bosses down at the office seem like a joke.  Our bossing skills will grind the skin of there very back.  It will make the Pharaohs of Egypt seem compassionate to the people they enslaved.  Actually, enslavement sounds like a pretty good idea.  If you complain, into the slave bin you go.  For guards, we’ll hire convicted murderers.  And of course, the slave bin will be covered with spikes.  They wont be able to move without getting skewered.  

How does that sound?  Does that sound like us being your friend?  We’re not your friends, and neither is your boss!  Actually, your boss just called us.  He said your fired. 


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