Today Tubbo pooped the biggest poop of his young life.

Today, I (Tubbo) pooped the biggest poop of my young life.  It was brown (and red and yellow), it was smelly, and it had a faint pulse.  The mush of my previous meal coursed through it’s many veins.  It took on a life of it’s own.  It had a steady heart beat and everything.  Then it pooped out it’s own baby poops.  Suddenly there was about 5 poops in the toilet, each with the velvety texture of brown mashed potatoes.  All of them together were letting off a steamy vile stench.  A stench that reeked of pure evil.

I tried flushing them down the toilet, but they had gotten too big.  All it did was smear them around the bowl, so now the bowl was all brown and smelly.  Can’t wait to use that in the morning.  And now the toilet was clogged.  I had no idea what to do in a situation like this!  Schools around the world should be teaching kids how to combat massive turds when they get too big to flush down instead of maths.  Anyway, I didn’t know what to do, so I called Bill (dad).

Bill called a plumber to pop the poop or something like that.  The plumber came over.  He tried to to unplug the toilet and stuck the plunger down it.  But my poop didn’t like that, so it rose out of the water and ate the plumber (actually, we haven’t seen him since).  Then my poop tried to eat me, so I pooped another poop to fight the first poop.  So much poop, so little time!

My first poop tried to eat my second poop, but, standing at about five feet tall, my second poop was just too much for him.  My second poop wasn’t no shrimpy little brown poop; this was a green poop.  My second poop ate up my first poop.

After a teary good-bye with lots of hugs and kisses, my green poop hopped into the toilet and allowed us to flush him down.  “This world isn’t for me,” was his only explantion.  And the biggest poop I ever pooped was gone forever.

It’s so beautiful.

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