Monthly Archives: August 2008

Inventions You’ll See In Stores Someday

Of course, we Tubbo’s have had many ideas for inventions over the years, but we mostly kept quite about it. But we have had just one to many flashes of brilliance this morning. It was as if a stronger force was telling us to tell the public about all our amazing inventions. And who where we to defy the fates of destiny? ‘Course, the Babysitter won’t be happy about this… Oh well.

Invention #1:

The “Wheel-Poop-Chair”

The Wheel-Poop-Chair

It’s completely revolutionary! Half wheelchair, half toilet, it combines many all the things old people still have to do (walking and pooping), making it all so much easier. The Wheel-Poop-Chair includes a design that’s easier on the “lower quarters” (the butt) than many leading toilet brands. The bottom of the seat opens at the push of a button for whenever it’s occupant “needs to do there business” (take a crap), all while the wheelchair works seamlessly on wheeling and chairing. All the contents fall into the lower hatch between the two wheels for storage.

There is also button titled “drop the bomb”. Is this a real bomb to blow up a building? No! This button releases the content of the Wheel-Poop-Chair through a bottom hatch for when the wheelchair is getting a little full (or a little smelly). Going past that neighbor you never liked? Or maybe the office where you used to work? Wheel into there property, drop the bomb, and no ones any the wiser. Plus, all the contents are gone! Genius!

Invention # 2:

The “CD Ninja Tracks”

The CD Ninja Tracks

Everyone knows that ninja stars are getting riskier and riskier to carry around, and some of us speak from experience. Coppers are pulling random guys over, telling them to open there bags to make sure no ones carrying ninja stars. That’s why we decided to disguise the ninja stars. And what better way disguise ninja stars than as CDs?

It looks like a normal CD, but about the only thing you can’t do with this new invention is play music off it. Razor sharp on the edges, made of solid stainless steel, and weighing a hefty (ha ha, hefty) three pounds, these are no ordinary CDs. Slash your friends, mortally wound your enemies, and all while staying safe from the police! Comes in four retailer colors. Buy a 10 pack for a 20% discount.

Invention # 3

The “Automatic Sidewalk”

 

Moving Sidewalk

Sure, you see these in airports sometimes, but this one completely reinvintents the theory.  First of all, we’re not bothering with any of those “safety rail” things.  No no, the Tubbo Moving Sidewalk is all about danger.  We may even throw in a few obstacles (like old hippies) for people to dodge or die trying.  Also, we’re not using that dumb little rubber materiel for the walkway.  We’re using solid cement!  Much more durable- we want these to last.

We’ll have to open these Moving Sidewalks to the public to get any use out of them, but we thought maybe we would make ’em like a toll bridge.  You have to pay every time to use them!  Plus, just allowing the government to stock them would cost a couple million each.  We have this all figured out.

Invention # 4

The Incandescent Lamp

What?  This was invented already?  That Thomas Edison guy stole our idea, the loser!

 

Anyway, trust us, you’ll see these inventions in stores someday.  Once the world catches on to how genius we are, people will be begging us to sell these.  Oh, and the more money we get now, the sooner these items will be in stores!  Send donations to “tubbotwins” in wordpress.com!  Make an account on wordpress today (wordpress.com gave us $1000.00 to say that)!

 

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We Got An Award!!! (Youtube)

Today, Monday, August 11th, 2008, it happened. WE WON AN AWARD. Yes folks, today we we re greeted with an email saying we won the 81st best director on Youtube! Yay!

We were just flicking through our channels and videos, when we saw this big medal on our page! It was red, and yellow, and shiny. And it’s ours! We knew our videos were awesome, but 81st director… Sweet! Here’s a few picture:

Isn’t it amazing? Isn’t is shiny? Isn’t it super-cali-fragilistic-expalis-doshish? Well, we suppose we’ll be getting lots of awards like this now that we’re on Youtube. We knew that putting the Tubbo’s on Youtube would do something like this. And this is only the beginning! Soon we’ll have thousands of awards like this!

The video that won this award was “Olympic Screw-Ups”, which you can watch on the Tubbo Website, too. Go too the Home Page and go to [Tubbo Video’s] or something like that. We Tubbo’s appeal to popular demand. We knew those so-called “Olympics” were gonna be big, and everyone would be searching for bloopers, so that’s what we gave ’em. Simple minded fools…

Check out our profile yourself at: www.youtube.com/tubbotwins

UPDATE AUGUST 12th: It’s been three days since we got the award, and we figured out it updates itself, so if you want to know EXACTLY how what number of best director we are, you’ll have to keep checking. Last time we checked, we were 69th best director (not 81st as the picture indicates). Tubbo’s just keep moving up and up!

UPDATE AUGUST 21st: Today, Youtube took our award away.  We only had it for two weeks, but don’t worry- we plan on getting another soon.

UPDATE JANUARY 10th:  Final hit count for the video that got us this award (Olympic Screw-ups):  12,565.

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Construction Workers are Dopes

The other day, we we’re going down to the Supreme National Health Club (which we are supreme sponsors to) to play a game of tennis, or maybe swim around the pool once we figure out how to swim without sinking.  But our dreams of semi-laziness were shattered.  Shattered by dopey construction workers.

Please note that we considered multiple insulting expressions to use on construction workers, but “dopey” just seemed to fit them best.  Sorry if it seems a bit “childish”, dopes.

If there is one thing we hate more than the Babysitter (unlikely), it’s dopey construction workers.  They go around the premise thinking they own the place!  All they do is drill through cement and put a bit of tar in a few cracks.  How hard is that?  We’ve drilled through faces with our feet, we can drill through cement too.  Construction workers think they are doing soo much work, in the blazing hot sun when in reality ANYONE could do it, without complaining mind you.

 

Whine, whine, whine!  They barely get any work done at all, what with all their complaining.  We tell ya, if we where their employer, we’d fire them in a second.  With real fire.  At least then they’d have something to complain about.

And then they always boss us around!  “Stay off the wet cement!”    “Don’t mess with the bulldozer!”    “No touching the drill!”   “Stop, you’re killing him!”  Jeez, lighten up, alright?  It’s like they blame us for there life sucking!  It’s not our fault your a dopey construction worker, is it?  Maybe you got a few too many “F”s back in school, huh? Maybe you should have cared about education and academics instead of allowing beer and football ruling your life, which, by coincidence, NO ONE CARES ABOUT in the real world!  But you already know that.  You’re a construction worker.

The only thing cool about construction workers are there hardhats.  We admit those are okay.  Sometimes.

So construction workers, pick up your redneck, bucktoothed ass and trip into a hole of cement.  Thanks.  Your country is proud of you.

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