Of course, we Tubbo’s have had many ideas for inventions over the years, but we mostly kept quite about it. But we have had just one to many flashes of brilliance this morning. It was as if a stronger force was telling us to tell the public about all our amazing inventions. And who where we to defy the fates of destiny? ‘Course, the Babysitter won’t be happy about this… Oh well.
It’s completely revolutionary! Half wheelchair, half toilet, it combines many all the things old people still have to do (walking and pooping), making it all so much easier. The Wheel-Poop-Chair includes a design that’s easier on the “lower quarters” (the butt) than many leading toilet brands. The bottom of the seat opens at the push of a button for whenever it’s occupant “needs to do there business” (take a crap), all while the wheelchair works seamlessly on wheeling and chairing. All the contents fall into the lower hatch between the two wheels for storage.
There is also button titled “drop the bomb”. Is this a real bomb to blow up a building? No! This button releases the content of the Wheel-Poop-Chair through a bottom hatch for when the wheelchair is getting a little full (or a little smelly). Going past that neighbor you never liked? Or maybe the office where you used to work? Wheel into there property, drop the bomb, and no ones any the wiser. Plus, all the contents are gone! Genius!
Invention # 2:
The “CD Ninja Tracks”
The CD Ninja Tracks
Everyone knows that ninja stars are getting riskier and riskier to carry around, and some of us speak from experience. Coppers are pulling random guys over, telling them to open there bags to make sure no ones carrying ninja stars. That’s why we decided to disguise the ninja stars. And what better way disguise ninja stars than as CDs?
It looks like a normal CD, but about the only thing you can’t do with this new invention is play music off it. Razor sharp on the edges, made of solid stainless steel, and weighing a hefty (ha ha, hefty) three pounds, these are no ordinary CDs. Slash your friends, mortally wound your enemies, and all while staying safe from the police! Comes in four retailer colors. Buy a 10 pack for a 20% discount.
Invention # 3
The “Automatic Sidewalk”
Sure, you see these in airports sometimes, but this one completely reinvintents the theory. First of all, we’re not bothering with any of those “safety rail” things. No no, the Tubbo Moving Sidewalk is all about danger. We may even throw in a few obstacles (like old hippies) for people to dodge or die trying. Also, we’re not using that dumb little rubber materiel for the walkway. We’re using solid cement! Much more durable- we want these to last.
We’ll have to open these Moving Sidewalks to the public to get any use out of them, but we thought maybe we would make ’em like a toll bridge. You have to pay every time to use them! Plus, just allowing the government to stock them would cost a couple million each. We have this all figured out.
Invention # 4
The Incandescent Lamp
What? This was invented already? That Thomas Edison guy stole our idea, the loser!
Anyway, trust us, you’ll see these inventions in stores someday. Once the world catches on to how genius we are, people will be begging us to sell these. Oh, and the more money we get now, the sooner these items will be in stores! Send donations to “tubbotwins” in wordpress.com! Make an account on wordpress today (wordpress.com gave us $1000.00 to say that)!