Caillou. What a baldy.

There’s only one reason a kid should ever be that happy, and at Caillou’s age, we doubt it’s happened yet…

PBS Kids has a lot of strange, mind-warping shows on their channel; Arthur, Barney, Dragon Tales, etc. (not that we would know)…  But Caillou is the strangest of them all- by far.  Caillou is, in a word, evil.  And you know someone’s evil when it’s coming from guys who push old ladies and children in front of cars for laughs.

Based on a four year-old brat who happens to be bald, the kid goes through life whining, screaming, and carrying on about the smallest of things that make him uncomfortable.  If you’re a parent and believe your child is badly behaved, watch Caillou; things will instantly be put into perspective.

The problem is, it’s not parents who watch Caillou; it’s meant for kids.  Children all over the world are watching Caillou’s naughty tendencies, and are mimicking it.  Parents have seen once well-behaved kids turn into monstrous carbon-copies of the one called Caillou!  When will the horror finally end?  WHEN WILL IT ALL END?!

Even Caillou’s physical appearance is strange.  You see, Caillou is bald, which isn’t a trait that kids his age usually have.  We think he may have AIDs, but we aren’t really sure.  Maybe his parents, who are nearly as demented as he is, allowed him to shave it all off because he said “pretty please”- they just can’t seem to say “no” (if Caillou asked his parents if he could burn down the neighbor’s house, we guarantee they’d allow it, and throw in some bullcrap “see Caillou, that’s why fire is the wrath of God” type message to boot). We really have no idea.  Either way, Caillou is definitely a freak, and should locked up somewhere.

Watch Caillou whine on a YouTube video here.

Here are a few things that Caillou likes to say.  If you watch the episodes, you’ll see that he really does say these things.

“Mommy”:  “Look Caillou!  It’s raining!”

Caillou: “I hate the rain!”

Rosie (Caillou’s sister):  “Hi Calliou!  I love you!”

Caillou:  “Mooooomy!!  Make Rosie go away!”

“Mommy”:  Hello, Caillou.  Want to play a game?”

Caillou:  “Daaaady!!  Make mommy go away!”

Rosie:  “Can I play with this?”

Caillou:  “MINE!  Gimme!”

“Mommy”:  “Caillou, do you wanna go skydiving?”

Caillou:  “I don’t want to do that.”

“Mommy”:  “It’s time for Mommy to watch her favorite video, XXX Beach Action, Caillou.  You’ll have to finish your video game another time.”

Caillou:  “F**k you, mommy!”

Well, we may have taken a few liberties with the quotes, particularly the last one, but we think you get the idea.  Besides, it’s only a matter of time before Caillou starts saying things like this.

That annoying little brat is teaching kids to act whiny just like him.  Do we want our kids imitating a kid like this?  We think not.  If we saw an episode without Caillou throwing a tantrum, we honestly think we’d drop dead from shock.

We have to ban together to stop the evil rule of Caillou.  He is mushing the minds of the new generation, and it must be stopped.  We actually have a theory that Caillou’s bald head is somehow sending subliminal messages to kids (don’t tell anyone).  Stop the terror.  Stop the baldness.  Stop the Caillou.

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11 Comments

Filed under Tubbo

11 responses to “Caillou. What a baldy.

  1. Wow, finally a post worth reading from this site. I actually think your right about Caillou. What about his name? You think it means like some cuss word in another language. And what about Dora? I think she’s trying to take over kids our age. Because I saw this commercial. “Dora Links” is it? It is so retarded.

  2. Oh and by the way, the video you linked me to, the one where we see Caillou whine, its be deleted for violation of the Terms of Service or some other crap. Next time, why don’t you link us to a video that actually works you dumbasses.

    • Obviously the video was removed after we linked to it. We have over 120 posts on this site, and we don’t have time to check back on every single one. You seem to be doing a fine job of just that, however, so keep it up. Unless you develop a life (unlikely).

      Look, we don’t know why you care so much about this site. We don’t want your input on our articles. We don’t want to know what you think of our videos. Just leave us alone.

      We probably shouldn’t have replied to this comment at all because you’ll want to reply to us — don’t bother. We’ve blocked all the other stupid crap you’ve made here, and we’ll block your reply, too. You don’t have any power here, so just screw off.

  3. I really enjoy following your blog as the articles are so simple to interpret and follow. Brilliant. Please keep it up. Thanks.

  4. Beck

    Caillou sucks. My daughter never had thrown herself on the floor, kicking and screaming until she saw Caillou do it on TV. I’m making sure she’s never watching the little bald headed bastard again.

  5. C.S. Smith

    i typed in caillou is retarted and got this. good , funny and as true as caillou.

    The author of the above comment is 11, but wise to the idiocy of Caillou. He and his younger brother and sister watch the show and rip on it, like the robots in Mystery Science Theatre. That’s the only reason I let the kids watch it–they get so creative in their critiques…

  6. TheSumOfWhy

    My daughter just started watching & Caillou is rapidly going down the bad side of the mountain with me – it is full of hidden messages! I think he is a skin head.

    Why are the little Asian girls dressed in Oriental near servant clothes?!
    Why when Down Syndrome visitor Alan visits does he have to be a “Bad Dragon” tamed by Caillou?!
    Why does the father keep telling the two black twins – wow I can’t tell you people apart?!!
    Why when they pretend to be animals is the little black girl – a monkey? Of all the things – really!

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