Get Your Mind Warped

Wanna get your mind warped?  Wanna go through life known as “That Weird Dude”?  Wanna have your outlook on life completely skewed?  Wanna have your brain become totally blended?  If you answered yes to all the past questions, it looks like someone twisted you mind already, and we are too late.  But if you answered yes to about half the questions, than read on, and glance at these before and after pictures!  This could be you.

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Do you wanna look like the before or after?  If you answered yes to a few of the questions we asked, we know which one you’d wanna look like.  You can barely recognize Dubba Tubba after he went through the mind bending process.  Keep reading, and you will be in the loony bin in no time.

Note: The loony bin is where every Lunatics’ dreams of going.  Think “The Big Time”.

  • The first step to becoming crazy is staying up until 5 in the morning every night.  If you aren’t reading this at 5 in the morning, you’re already failing.  You’re a failure.
  • The next part is to read every single Tubbo Article, and advise them to your friends.  Maybe donate your life savings.  And no, this isn’t “spam” or “advertisement”.  It’s part of the steps.
  • Next, start buying rubber chickens for no apparent reason.  This is so that your friends will get the picture of you being slightly off your rocker.  It’s boring being crazy without anyone knowing it.

If you aren’t getting rings around your eyes by this next stage, you are doing something wrong.

  • Now you need to purchase yourself a large, shiny ax.  A crazy person bearing an ax strikes fear into non-crazy peoples hearts.  For added effect, get yourself a scary hair cut, e.g. “Crazy Professor”.  After you are an expert ax-man, you can consider purchasing a chainsaw.
  • Start reading copies of Steven King books and Arthur Read books.  Don’t ask, just read.  Also try watching Alfred Hitchcock movies.  Heh heh… Hitchcock.
  • Eat only raw meat.  Preferably raw cow, or something of the sort.  Small dogs and cats you may find in your neighbors yard works too.

By now, you should be laughing to yourself, hunched back, and sitting by yourself in dark corners of the room.

  • Get glasses with spirals around them, and wear them 24/7.
  • Stop going outside.  For extra credit, stopping do everything except the basic necessities.  Maybe even stop doing those as well (quit eating, don’t drink water, etc.), but not to the point where you’re in danger of dying- that wouldn’t be fun -just to the point where you go insane.
  • Go into a dark room in front of a mirror and chant, “If your crazy and you know, it clap your hands…” etc.
  • Instead of watching TV, look at those spiral projectors that shows the lines looping around and around (beginner Nazi alert).

And that should do it!  If your mind isn’t bent by this point, you’re branded as NORMAL for life.  Just kidding.  You’re all freaks.  But if you are crazy inside, you should wake up in bed one night, and find yourself completely twisted!  Good luck in the Crazy House, psychos.

Note – Want more of our “warped” articles?  Read Let Us Spam You, The Magic Picture, and The Curious Case of a Man with Gelotophobia for more insane “twistia.”

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