Monthly Archives: May 2008

Indian/Hippie Names

Are you Indian?  Are you trying to pick out good Indian name for your young Indian?  Or maybe your a striving young hippie trying to think of a name that reflects the views of your fellow hippies?  Either way, we’ve got you covered!

They have the right genes, all they need is a good name to go far.  And we’ve got you covered just as long as you’re covered.

Note that all these names are Gender-Neutral, including “He Who Listens To Birds”.  However, if you can’t live with a boy being named Mother Earth, well…  Changes can be made…  Hey, they do it to dogs all the time!

Indian Names:

  • He Who Listens To Birds

This young Indian will grow up to be one with nature.  Yeah, he might be a little “odd,” but who needs humans when you’ve got birds for friends?

  • Moon Fire

Strong yet caring, powerful yet understanding, outcasted yet antisocial.  Don’t expect your child to adjust well to changes well with this name.  He’ll (yes, we’re assmuing you’ll have a boy, bite us) be too worried about all that cosmic “fate of the world rests with you” crap.  If your child gets oughta control with possesions and demonly inhabitations, just ground him.  Tell him he can’t save the world from the darkly visions he keeps having until he cleans his room.  Then, even he does clean his room, don’t let him out.  Then laugh at him.

  • The (Chosen) One

Great if your kid’s the Chosen One.  Hell, use it even if you kid isn’t young one the Chosen One; it’s BS, but it’ll sure get attention.

  • Destiny Hope

Be the next Hannah Montanna, Miley Cirus, or whatever the crap her name is now.

  • Bitter Ice

Cold-hearted, bratty, selfish, and beautiful; everything a parent could want!

Hippie Names:

  • Mother Earth

Preferable if the young hippie is female, but again . . . “changes” can always be made.

  • Radical Z

A name with an edge and a “Z!”

  • Save (The) Dolphins

Will one with this name get teased in school?  Almost certainly!  Our solution?  Don’t let them live past four!  Everybody comes out happy (especially the dolphins) when you use this name!

  • Root

One with this name will get love to get “down ‘N’ dirty” . . . obviously meaning they’ll love to plant trees.

  • Bright Eyes

This one will have a negative view on things, bordering on pessimistic at times.

These names should help you have the kid you always dreamed of.  Hey, Dreamer!  That’s another good one!  We just can’t stop think up awesome names.  But for the best names of all, there are two names that can’t go wrong.  We mean, your child will rule the world.  Those names are Tubbo and Dubba Tubba.



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Tubbo’s Favorite Quotes

Over the years, we have said many different things to many different people.  All these things we said are obviously awesome because we’re the ones saying them.  And where are the people we said them to?  All dead.  That’s right, every single one hung himself after witnessing the truth that is TUBBO and DUBBA TUBBA.  Rawr.  Often times our sayings stick in our mind, but until now we haven’t thought of anything to do with them except say them over and over. But now, we have decided to make a whole article about our favorite quotes! Yay! Learn these, and you’ll become a master of word battling in no time!

“Take a courtesy wipe!” This is a great one because it implies that the victim hasn’t wiped recently.  Eww.  Just kidding, it’s pretty awesome.

“Cry me a river.” This one is sharp, sarcastic, and uncaring.  Great when someone is continually whining.

“Poop off, turd-face.” Two references to poop, and two insults for the price of one!

“Grow down, geezer.” Regardless of age, this is a great comeback whenever some says “Grow up.” to you.  Plus, it has two “G”‘s in it, so it rolls of the tongue.

“Life’s like a box of poops.  You never know watcha gonna get.” The original quote is “Life’s like a box of chocolates…” but we think “poops” has more tone.

“What would Tubbo do?” It’s great because you could make little bands that say W.W.T.D. for your kids to remind them, and we would make millions.  It’s also great because Tubbo would usually start violence in any situation, so you really don’t have to think too hard.

“Idiots will be idiots.  Just look at (Victims Name)!” This is great whenever someone strikes up a conversation talking about how much of an idiot What’s His Face is being.  For “Victims Name” put in whoever started the conversation.

“What a Nerd!” Short but sweet.  Use this whenever someone says something stupid or trips down the stairs.  Warning: This only works if you put a bit of an accent spin on it and carry the “nerd” part in it like this:  “What a neeeeeerd!”

“Blah blah butt, no one cares!” Use this whenever someone on the phone says “Blah.

“T-t-today, Jr!” Great for whenever someone stutters.

“Too stupid!” For whenever anyone says anything.

“I’m rubber your glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.” Just kidding, we would never say anything like this, but on the rare occasion someone does say something like this, look below for the perfect comeback.

“Never talk again (swift kick in the shins).” When we say “swift kick in the shins”, we don’t mean say it.  We mean do it.

Well, that about covers everything.  We hope we shared a bit of our genius and wisdom with you.

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Spring Water Tastes Like Poop

Have you been drinking Bottled Spring Water such as Aquafina or Dasani lately? If you have, then you know what we are gonna be talking about today: the fact that Spring Water tasted like crap.

We see some people walking around drinking their fancy “All Natural” bottles of water and it just baffles us. Why would anyone pay for poop water when they could drink normal water for free? And it does taste like poop! It isn’t water! Drink some right now, focus entirely on tasting it, and you will see what we mean. It’s like someone crapped into each bottle before sending it off for sales. And the guy had just eaten McDonald’s or something.

Sometimes if you get an extra poop-filled bottle, you can actually see the brown tint in it. We can barely stand it when we see an unsuspecting costumer purchase a cold poop drink on a hot day and then guzzle it down. How many lives have these vile drinks taken?

Check out this poop water. This is what you’ve been drinking.  Pretty sick, right?

Ick, PoopWell, I guess The Babysitter needs something to drink too, right?  All we can say is you’ll never catch us dead drinking some of that crap.

We can picture the new ads for this already: “Drink Poop Water!  It’s Babysitter approved!”  Drink this crap if you like, we aren’t stopping you, but we will say we told you so at your funeral.

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We will hack your computer (if you say “please”).

Nope, that wasn’t just a flashy title.  We’re hardcore über h@k3®$.  For shizzel.  So click here if you want us to hack into your computer.

And for those who DIDN’T click on that link (the “smart” ones) . . . umm . . . click here for free, hackless porn.  Really.

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Don’t stop at read lights, or we’ll arrest you.

Seriously, who stops at red lights anymore?  Totally tacky.  They just get in your way.  Red lights are completely unnecessary.  Slowing you down here, slowing you down there . . . And we’ve have had enough of it!  From now on, we zoom through green lights and red ones.  And speed limits?  We’re not even sure what those mean.  We assume they’re the minimum speed (going slower than them will get you shot where we live) or possibly the suggested minimum speed, but we don’t know for sure and we don’t WANT to know for sure.  If we don’t know, they can’t hurt us.

If you happen to live in Australia somewhere by us at the time of this amazing writing and we see you zoom through a red light as if it wasn’t there, we know that maybe, just maybe, you read this article and have such utmost respect for us that you would risk jail time to do what we say.  Normally, we would salute you, but we think you should salute us for thinking this awesome idea up.  See you in jail, loyal Tubbo fan!

To wrap up this article, we would just like to pound the following message into your (small) brains one more time: don’t stop at red lights.  Or else we’ll arrest you.  Make your country proud, ignore the rules of the road.  THE ROAD CAN’T TAME THIS SPIRIT, RAAAAAWWWWRRRR!


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Aliens Are Real

Sadly, there are some skeptics in this world who deny the obvious fact that aliens do in fact exist.  They live among us, studying our way of life!  And then, one day, they will strike.  The truth is not all grim, however.  But before we speculate the appending doom and how to stop it, we will show you never before seen proof that aliens are real.                                                                                                                          

There it is.  Undeniable proof that aliens are real.  Below is an alien transport-pad, called by others the “UFO”, or Undeniable, sorry, Unidentified Flying Object.                                                     

 How can you reject a fine picture like this by still saying UFOs and aliens don’t exist?  We with you on this one, fans.  You can’t.  Some may argue, “Well the picture is kinda blurry, un-sharp, and old!”.  Well, that is why we took the liberty to touch it up.  Sharpened the image, brightened the color, you know the drill.  Now look at it.

You can actually see heat radiating of it, skewing the air around it.  The UFO itself becomes a bit distorted from the pressure.  And in the light, you can see very well that there is no wires holding it up.  This is real.  

Now, some of you non-believers may be asking, “Fine, they showed us a UFO, but where are the aliens?” and we have now decided to show you a real picture of an alien.  That’s right this is the moment of truth.    

There it is, no joke.  

We don’t think any “touching up” is   necesary, do you?  

This is a real alien picture, taken when we were camping in the great out back.  The flash scared it away, but needles to say we got what we came for.  Unfortunatley, we do not think this alien is harmless.  To join the fight against aliens, join Tubbo’s_Own_Aliens2000.  We need all the help we can get to fight off the extraterrestrial forces of those beyond our planet!


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We Are Lords Of Everything

We thought that that needed clearing up, judging by some of the emails you nerds sent us. We also though that this would be good in our bio, so here you go:

We Rule Everyone. No One Is As Good As Us.

We are better than everyone. We own at everything.

Sometime people say we are “self-centered”. As if we can help being so great. Jealousy just gets the best of some people. But it isn’t easy being this great.

We own everyone at everything. There’s no use in trying to be as good as us because it’s impossible. There aren’t enough words to describe how good we are.

We don’t think there was ever a sentence that used the words “Tubbo’s” and “Bad” together except for “Those Tubbo’s make everyone else look bad.”

If someone says we aren’t perfect, then they are wrong and they will pay. We own everyone. We should just be referred to King Tubbo and Dubba Tubba.

If we ever lost at something, we think the world would end. But as the world hasn’t ended, you know we haven’t lost at anything. But the other day, someone beat us at football. Just kidding, we won like always. We always win.

We love ourselves. If we weren’t us, we’d wish we where.

‘Cause we are Tubbo’s

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