Monthly Archives: April 2008

How To Cure Procrastination

we’ll finish this post later

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

maybe.

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How To Make A Near Tubbo-Quality Fart

We thought that you can’t be a Tubbo Gang Member without knowing how to fart like a Tubbo, so here is a step-by-step process.  Read and enjoy!

1. Drink a carbonated beverage such as Fizzy Water or Soda.

    This one is important to get that Tubbo stomach churning.  It’s sorta like a burp.

    2.  Eat lots of food, preferably eggs or something similar.

    This gives your farts a very distinct flavor.  Oh yeah, and beans work too.

    3.  Wait for a while before you… Use the bathroom.

    Do we really have to explain?

    4. Practice flexing the butt muscles.

    Practice makes perfect… Farts!

    5. Let ‘er rip!

    It feels so good clearing out an entire room!

    Now that you know how to fart, poot, and gas, try it out for yourself!  They wont be quite Tubbo-Quality, but it will be as good as you can be!  For extra fun, try it at fancy parties with upper-class guests!  Fart on, Tubbo Brothers!

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    Guess What! Sonific Songspot Sucks!

    We were just minding our own buisness, trying to find ways to make our site more awesome, when we happened upon a Widget that looked cool.  With a name like Sonific Songspot, it has to be cool, right?  Look out, moron!  Looks can be decieving!  We equipped the Widget when we found out that we had to go to their website to choose the song.  We went there, and ran into another problem!  You could not find any of the songs you want!  You would think they’d make selection easy like LimeWire (not that we’d know . . .), but no!  They made it impossible to find any good songs!  All they had was Indie crap and old pop songs from the 90’s . . . the 1890’s. 

    But it isn’t we who are mad at these turn of events!  Nope, it’s you, the readers, who should be angry.  We wanted to make a song update every week of The Tubbo Top Song Choices, but because of this poor Widget, you will no longer get this.  Instead, we will make a list of the Top 50 Tubbo Picks.  It will not be nearly as innovative as the playable demos we wanted to release, but it will do.  We guess.

    Also, we thought this was a good time to bring the subject up again; if anyone, anyone (even nerds!!) has an idea of a better area to make a website, please let us know.  This blog just isn’t cutting it.  WordPress sucks.  Don’t worry; you will still have acess to this older site, but the newer one will (or should) be much easier to navigate.  Thanks!  And remember to look for our new song post!  Oh, and here is a glimpses of the awfulness of Sonific Songspot:

    On a side note, we also got the “CEO” of Songspot angry at us!  Woo-hoo!  We’ve been wanting important figures of the world made at us.  The comment was accidently deleted after we temporarily switched commenting off.  All he did was blame other people anyway, so there wasn’t much to see.

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    True bliss? We think not.

    People (idiots) are always stumbling around blindly screaming “ignorance is bliss,” which is quite a dumb thing to say; just because you believe a monster isn’t under you bed, doesn’t mean he isn’t there.  We decided to conduct three tests to find out of ignorance really is bliss.

    1. The “Walk Into A Wall” Test

    We decided to pretend like we didn’t see a brick wall coming up as we are walking down the street.  We are ignorant about the wall.  Will we be blissful?  NO! We banged our head into the wall and got a severe concussion and head trauma.  We’re writing this from a hospital.  What were we writing about?

    Results:  Not bliss.

    2.  The “Forget About Homework” Test

    One night we had 50 math problems to do, but we didn’t want to do them, so we “forgot” about them in order to become blissful.  It didn’t work; our homework didn’t magically get finished and we failed.  Now we have to redo Kindergarten.  Then we yelled at by the Babysitter and Bill (our dad), and had to redo 50 problems.  Then we had to write “ignorance is not bliss, Goddamnit.” 200 hundred times.  If that’s bliss, we don’t want any in our life.

    Results:  Not bliss, Goddamit.

    3.  The “Police Are Not Here” Test

    This is our final (and most dangerous) test to see if ignorance is truly bliss.  We decided to try and rob a bank despite the fact that a police man is right there.  We walked up with our semi-automatic hand gun (which we conviently found on the black market a few days earlier at a unbeatable price; the stuff they have on the black market these days!) and held up the bank right in front of the police man! We decided to become ignorant of the policeman in order for bliss to happen.  It didn’t freaking work!  Ignorance let us down again!  What a nerd!  We got arrested and sent to jail until Bill bailed us out, and then we got yelled at and punished!  Definitely not bliss.

    Results:  Not bliss.

    Not that any of these tests will matter.  The retards that believe ignorance is bliss will ignore these tests in order to remain ignorant, and nothing will change.  So basically, we got a concussion, extra math problems, and a blotch on our records for nothing.  Oh well.

    Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.  Ignorance is not bliss, Goddamit.

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